
Seymour Joseph Guy, 1877
Why Religion? A Personal Story
By Elaine Pagels
Why Religion? is partly a memoir, and partly the record of a personal struggle over the spiritual questions that trouble us all. I’ve not quite finished reading it, but the story it tells – along with the questions it raises – are of such obvious import that I see no need to wait before sharing it with readers.
Pagels is the Harrington Spear Paine Foundation Professor of Religion at Princeton University and the winner of practically every Fellowship I’ve ever heard of. In her field, I don’t imagine you can climb any higher. She’s widely known for breaking the news to educated readers that – although the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John are the ones that came out ahead in the first-century CE competition over who got to tell the Jesus story – there are some interesting gospels that also ran.
The gospels that lost out in the competition – had nevertheless been copied by certain nonconformist monks in the 4th-century CE. Those monks acted in secret to preserve the rejected gospels, hiding them inside a six-foot jar, that’s been unearthed at the Egyptian village of Nag Hammadi. The findings of Pagels‘ work – deciphering and translating the Nag Hammadi writings – are described in her book, The Gnostic Gospels. Its publication kicked up theological storms of condemnation and praise. Here are some of the storm samples:
“Raymond Brown, a renowned senior colleague and biblical scholar … attacked the secret gospels, declaring that since they were only rubbish in the first century, and were still rubbish, what I’d written could only deceive the public.”
Another prominent professor, Henry Chadwick, who’d been her “mentor at Oxford,” attacked Pagels in the London Review of Books, essentially agreeing with the early Church fathers that “Gnostics were essentially not Christian at all” not forgetting to add that “women, weaker than men and less rational, are easily seduced by heresy” (64).
There were enthusiastic reviews as well, but she seems to have taken both kinds – the favorable and the unfavorable – in admirably detached, scholarly stride.
That said, Pagels was clearly delighted that the gospels found in the six-foot jar gave a more prominent status to women than the subordinate status women had been assigned by male authorities like St. Paul, Bishop Irenaeus and Tertullian.
This book, however, is not primarily about her work, path-breaking though it’s been. Instead, it tells her life story. Perhaps because her student pathway partly overlapped my own, that story had me hooked from early on. I too took a course in Art History with Meyer Schapiro (he’d been a classmate of my father and his wife Lillian had been my pediatrician) and also audited a course in New Testament with her great mentor, Krister Stendahl.
Up to a point, however, her youthful studies seemed much more trouble-free than my own. While still a graduate student, she married Heinz Pagels. He was the love of her life, as their wedding photo transparently shows. Pagels was a gifted physicist, working at the frontier of current knowledge of the physical universe and its constituent components. Their first child, Mark, was a beautiful little boy, as we can also see from another photo in her book.
What could be more desirable – more fulfilling – than all this?
What happened next seems to me captured most precisely in this verse by the American poet Edgar Allan Poe:
The angels not half so happy in heaven
Went envying her and me …
Mark, their radiant little boy, was discovered to have “a hole in the walls of his heart.” Though he survived the initial surgery, which was deemed successful, there was still one chance in ten thousand that he would develop pulmonary hypertension, which was “invariably fatal” (p. 100). Yet, that’s precisely what happened!
When he died, Heinz said to a friend, “I would’ve given my life for him, but no one would take it” (p. 119).
The loss seemed to lance the whole world on the point of a fatal spear.
Recovery from their shared sorrow seemed almost unimaginable. Since her pregnancy had itself been an event that beat the odds – they had meanwhile gone ahead to adopt two siblings, Sarah and then David, so as to provide Mark with a more generous-sized family. Now, if only for their new children’s sakes, the heartbroken parents needed to pull themselves together and go on with life as soon, and as normally, as they could manage.
Till the truly unthinkable happened. They’d been on vacation. Heinz had been out climbing the Colorado Rockies, as he had safely done many times before. Except that this time his path underfoot gave way unexpectedly, and suddenly he plunged more than a thousand feet to his death.
Despair might have looked the most truthful way for her to take this ultimate catastrophe – except that she now had these two small adopted children, who depended entirely on her.
Her memoir chronicles the trajectory of her near-despair, lightened by occasional dream-visions, helps from friends who include meditating monks, till she is able to weave some of the questions raised by her sorrow into further textual explorations.
At the point I’ve got to, she’s pondering the significance of the Jesus in the gnostic Gospel of Thomas. That Jesus seems to her more accessible than the more abstract savior of Paul’s epistles. We know that Paul had never met Jesus in the flesh. The Book of Acts records that Paul quarreled with the disciples who had known Jesus. Nevertheless, Paul’s view of the mission of Jesus became the one adopted by Christian doctrine. Does she have any distinct, nonPauline yearnings to make contact with God? I’m not sure. In any case, she seems to me a sincere truth-seeker.
*. *. *
What do I think of this long and troubling story that is Pagels’ memoir?
I really don’t know. If God exists (and I believe God does exist), the question must take in God’s part in the story.
Did the Creator allow this catastrophe to visit the author’s young life because … giving her powerful and honest mind a question so oversized to grapple with would also give her readers a prompt to reflect more deeply on the fragility of all our human lives? Well, maybe, but maybe not.
At any rate,
such wisdom as I have
doesn’t rise to the level
of this tragedy.








