Tag Archives: social status

Women Enemies and Women Friends

Posted on July 29, 2025 by Abigail

In Liaisons Dangereuses, the eighteenth-century epistolary novel of cynicism by Choderlos de Laclos, the plot turns around two aristocrats who co-conspire to seduce their unsuspecting victims. Their purpose is not so much to gratify sexual desire as to enjoy the … Continue reading →

Posted in Absolute Freedom and Terror, absurdism, academe, action, afterlife, agnosticism, alienation, anthropology, appreciation, art, art of living, atheism, authenticity, bad faith, beauty, Bible, Biblical God, bigotry, bureaucracy, childhood, chivalry, Christianity, cities, class, conformism, contemplation, contradictions, cool, courage, courtship, cults, cultural politics, culture, desire, dialectic, eighteenth century, erotic life, eternity, ethics, ethnicity, evil, existentialism, exploitation, faith, fashion, fatherhood, female power, femininity, feminism, filial piety, films, freedom, friendship, gender balance, glitterati, Gnosticism, guilt and innocence, health, Hegel, hegemony, heroes, hidden God, hierarchy, history, history of ideas, id, idealism, ideality, identity, ideology, idolatry, immorality, immortality, institutional power, Jesus, Jews, journalism, Judaism, law, legal responsibility, life and death struggle, literature, love, male power, martyrdom, masculinity, master, master/slave relation, memoir, memory, Messianic Age, mind control, modern women, modernism, moral action, moral evaluation, moral psychology, morality, mortality, motherhood, mysticism, Nihilism, nineteenth-century, non-violence, novels, ontology, oppression, pacifism, past and future, peace, Phenomenology of the Mind, philosophy, poetry, political, political movements, politics, politics of ideas, postmodernism, power, power games, presence, promissory notes, propaganda, psychology, public facade, public intellectual, radicalism, reading, reductionism, relationships, religion, remembrance, repairing the culture, roles, romance, romantic love, romanticism, science, scientism, secular, seduction, self-deception, sex appeal, sexuality, slave, social climbing, social construction, social conventions, social ranking, sociobiology, spiritual journey, spiritual not religious, spirituality, status, status of women, suffering, terror, the examined life, the problematic of men, the problematic of woman, the profane, the sacred, theism, theology, time, Truth, TV, twentieth century, twenty-first century, Utopia, victimhood, victims, work, writing, Zeitgeist | Tagged 18th-century novel, academic gossip, academic politics, antisocial behavior, at home in the world, attacking a friendship, betraying trust, breaking faith, calumny and collegiality, calumny and lost friends, calumny and mutual trust, carcinogenic stress, Central Park Reservoir, chivalry between women, Choderlos de Laclos, co-conspirators, conspiracy to seduce, conspiring to victimize, culture-wide delusions, cynicism vs innocence, damaging fictions, damaging fictions believed, defamation and social envy, defaming gossip, defaming the innocent, dread medical verdict, effective defamations, epistolary novel, freemasonry of women, friendship betrayed, gallantry between women, gossip and social credit, harmful fictions, homeless in the world, Liaisons Dangereuses, Marquise de Merteuil, medical verdict, moral terror, moral victories, nature mirroring despair, nature reflecting moods, neighbors who are friends, New York neighbors, novel of cynicism, pathetic fallacy, psychogenic illness, psychological warfare, reductionism as cultural norm, reductionism as fashionable, reputation tarnishing, seduction, seduction for power, seductive lies, sisterhood of women, social damage, social danger, social death, social defeats, social envy, social power, social safety, social status, social terrorism, social violence, social war, social wound, surviving social warfare, symbolic murder, test of friendship, Vicomte de Valmont, vulnerability of women, when the bad guys win, woman as skillful enemy, woman colleague, women enemies, women friends, women giving a sense of home, women knowing where to strike, women supporting women, women undermining women, women victims, wounding socially | 3 Comments

Atonement and Forgiveness

Posted on September 26, 2023 by Abigail

This week, when Jewish time has been flowing between the New Year 5781 and the sacrosanct Day of Atonement, I have asked a couple of people I know for forgiveness. It’s the time of year when this is required, for … Continue reading →

Posted in absurdism, academe, action, afterlife, alienation, anthropology, art of living, atheism, autonomy, bad faith, beauty, Biblical God, bigotry, chivalry, Christianity, cities, conformism, contemplation, contradictions, cool, courage, courtship, cultural politics, culture, desire, dialectic, erotic life, eternity, ethics, evil, existentialism, faith, female power, femininity, feminism, freedom, friendship, gender balance, guilt and innocence, health, hegemony, heroes, hidden God, hierarchy, history of ideas, id, Idealism-, ideality, identity, ideology, idolatry, immorality, institutional power, Jews, Judaism, law, legal responsibility, life and death struggle, literature, love, male power, martyrdom, masculinity, master, master/slave relation, memoir, memory, mind control, modern women, modernism, moral action, moral evaluation, moral psychology, morality, mortality, non-violence, novels, ontology, oppression, pacifism, past and future, peace, philosophy, poetry, political, politics of ideas, postmodernism, power, presence, promissory notes, psychology, public facade, public intellectual, reading, reductionism, relationships, religion, roles, romance, romantic love, scientism, secular, seduction, self-deception, sex appeal, sexuality, social climbing, social construction, social conventions, social ranking, spiritual journey, spiritual not religious, spirituality, status, status of women, suffering, the examined life, the problematic of men, the problematic of woman, the profane, the sacred, theism, theology, time, twentieth century, twenty-first century, victimhood, victims, work, writing, Zeitgeist | Tagged accepting the apology, adult life choices, anticipating trouble, apologizing, asking forgiveness, asking pardon, Barnard College, college friendships, conditions for forgiveness, conditions for prayer, courtship signs of trouble, crocodile tears, Day of Atonement, Days of Awe, divine calling halt, divine demand, divine exclusion and inclusion, Divine intervention, divine rebuke, divine refusal, divine roadblock, ex-friends, expressing anger, fake contrition, feeling obligated, forgiving injuries, friendships after college, generosity and friendship, generosity in lost friendship, generous forgiveness, genuine contrition, getting presentable to God, getting right with God, giving forgiveness, giving pardon, God saying stop, God’s absence, God’s presence, God’s withdrawal, holy day, holy week, hurt feelings, insensitivity, Jewish time, knowing what one did wrong, losing or risking status, lost friendship, lost youth, loving reactions, making peace, marital negotiations, moral competition, moral confrontation, moral hindsight, moral self-understanding, moral stakes, moral struggle, not invited to the party, novelistic plotline, overcoming resentment, points for trying, politics of experience, psychic wounds, psychoanalytic lore, psychoanalytic understanding, red flags in marriage, reflective repentance, relationship red flags, repairing past wrongs, repairing the world, repairing wrong, resolving life complexities, retrospective moral insight, retrospective moral self-insight, retrospective regrets, retrospective self-judgment, retrospective self-understanding, Rosh Hashanah, self knowledge and repentance, self-definition and premature self-definition, sending God a letter, sense of duty, sense of urgency, Shekinah, snubbed socially, social status, spiritual cleansing, the beautiful people, transcending resentment, understanding one’s misdeed, understanding relationships, unrepaired injuries, victim and victimizer, wounding another, Yom Kippur, youthful injuries, youthful quarrels | 1 Comment

It’s Our Twentieth!

Posted on January 21, 2020 by Abigail

It’s Our Twentieth! January 20th, 2020, is our twentieth anniversary and, over the past few days, we’ve been talking about what it all means. In our first year, when I still lived in New York and Jerry in Washington D.C., … Continue reading →

Posted in absurdism, academe, action, afterlife, alienation, anthropology, art, art of living, atheism, autonomy, Bible, Biblical God, books, bureaucracy, chivalry, Christianity, cities, class, conformism, contemplation, contradictions, cool, courage, courtship, cults, cultural politics, culture, desire, dialectic, erotic life, eternity, ethics, evil, existentialism, exploitation, faith, fashion, femininity, feminism, freedom, friendship, gender balance, glitterati, Gnosticism, guilt and innocence, health, hegemony, heroes, hidden God, hierarchy, history, history of ideas, id, idealism, ideality, identity, ideology, idolatry, immorality, immortality, institutional power, Jews, Judaism, law, legal responsibility, life and death struggle, literature, love, male power, masculinity, master, medieval, memoir, memory, mind control, modernism, moral action, moral evaluation, moral psychology, morality, mortality, mysticism, nineteenth-century, novels, ontology, oppression, past and future, Phenomenology of the Mind, philosophy, poetry, political, political movements, politics of ideas, postmodernism, power, presence, promissory notes, propaganda, psychology, public facade, public intellectual, radicalism, reading, reductionism, relationships, religion, roles, romance, romantic love, romanticism, scientism, secular, seduction, self-deception, sex appeal, sexuality, social climbing, social construction, social conventions, social ranking, sociobiology, spiritual journey, spiritual not religious, spirituality, status, status of women, suffering, terror, the examined life, the problematic of men, the problematic of woman, the profane, the sacred, theism, theology, time, twentieth century, twenty-first century, Utopia, victimhood, work, writing, Zeitgeist | Tagged a fish without a bicycle, a woman without a man, Abraham and Sarah, biblical flawed people, biblical models, Biblical narrative, biblical prototypes, biblical romance, Charlotte Bronte, collegial advisors, commuting marriage, consulting experts, delusions, girlhood daydreams, gnostic lovers, grave of Heloise and Abelard, Heloise and Abelard, identity markers, institutional role, Isaac and Rebecca, it’s a miracle, Jacob and Rachel, joint life, letting be, life together, love and work, love as knowledge, madness of love, medieval troubadours, mutual support, neutral vantage point, new beginnings, partnership, Père Lachaise Cemetery, Reader I married him, reciprocity, requirements of marriage, reshaping one’s life, risking identity, romantic feeling, sanity markers, shared space, shared time, social dignity, social status, story of God and humankind, taking a chance, teamwork, the bachelor life, the good fight, the rose clings ‘round the briar, Tristan and Iseult, view from nowhere, wedding anniversary, winning know how, with love all things are possible | 2 Comments

The Woman on the Pedestal

Posted on June 6, 2017 by Abigail

The Woman on the Pedestal I’m pretty near the end of Pamela, the novel about the heroine whose virtue gets rewarded that I cited last week. How does she manage to hold on to her “treasure”? (It really is, since … Continue reading →

Posted in absurdism, academe, action, afterlife, alienation, art, art of living, autonomy, beauty, Biblical God, chivalry, Christianity, conformism, contemplation, contradictions, courage, courtship, cultural politics, culture, desire, dialectic, eighteenth century, erotic life, eternity, ethics, evil, existentialism, exploitation, faith, fashion, femininity, feminism, freedom, friendship, gender balance, guilt and innocence, heroes, hidden God, hierarchy, history, history of ideas, id, idealism, ideality, identity, ideology, idolatry, immorality, immortality, institutional power, legal responsibility, life and death struggle, literature, love, male power, martyrdom, masculinity, master, memoir, memory, mind control, moral action, moral evaluation, moral psychology, mortality, nineteenth-century, non-violence, novels, oppression, pacifism, past and future, peace, philosophy, poetry, political, political movements, politics of ideas, postmodernism, power, presence, promissory notes, propaganda, psychology, public facade, public intellectual, reductionism, relationships, religion, roles, romance, romantic love, romanticism, seduction, self-deception, sex appeal, sexuality, social climbing, social construction, social conventions, social ranking, sociobiology, spiritual journey, spiritual not religious, spirituality, status, status of women, suffering, the examined life, the problematic of men, the problematic of woman, the profane, the sacred, theism, theology, time, twentieth century, twenty-first century, Utopia, victimhood, victims, violence, work, writing, Zeitgeist | Tagged 18th century novel, 19th century Denmark, bad intentions, beloved, betrayal, better angels, biography, broken engagement, cattiness, courtship, existentialism, fallen woman, female wiles, feminine resistance, feminine rivalry, fine gentleman, heartbreak, high ideals, idealization, jilted woman, Joakim Garff's Kierkegaard’s Muse: The Mystery of Regine Olsen, living in history, love, male villainy, martial arts, masculine insults, masculine manipulation, masculine threats, masculine wiles, menaced innocence, moral turnaround, near violence, philosophic originality, powerful men, presence of mind, profaning one's image, reforming men, Romantic Love, Samuel Richardson's Pamela or Virtue Rewarded, self-defeating moves, sexual harrassment, simplifications, social ascent, social protection, social scandal, social status, Soren Kierkegaard, soul at risk, spiritual v ethical, traps of idealization, unequal combat, unequal struggle, unisex intellect, victory of underlings, virtuous heroine, virtuous woman, woman on pedestal, yin and yang | 2 Comments

“Marriage”

Posted on June 14, 2016 by Abigail

“Marriage” Marriage has always seemed to me a great mystery. Clearly it has a political aspect. To most people, this is at least somewhat apparent. In an earlier American era, the negative politics of single womanhood was quite obvious. Take … Continue reading →

Posted in academe, action, alienation, anthropology, art, art of living, autonomy, Biblical God, chivalry, class, contemplation, contradictions, cool, courage, courtship, culture, desire, dialectic, erotic life, eternity, ethics, evil, faith, fashion, femininity, feminism, films, freedom, friendship, gender balance, guilt and innocence, health, Hegel, hierarchy, history, history of ideas, identity, ideology, idolatry, institutional power, Jews, legal responsibility, life and death struggle, literature, love, male power, masculinity, master, memoir, nineteenth-century, ontology, peace, Phenomenology of the Mind, philosophy, poetry, political, political movements, power, psychology, relationships, roles, romance, romantic love, seduction, sex appeal, sexuality, slave, social conventions, social ranking, sociobiology, spirituality, status, status of women, suffering, the examined life, the problematic of men, the problematic of woman, theism, time, twentieth century, twenty-first century, writing, Zeitgeist | Tagged a positive mystery, actualized potential, aging virgins, Authenticity, “It’s a Wonderful Life, ” Jimmy Stewart the actor, bashert, biochemical criteria for romance, brides-to-be, busted, change in being, Christmas movies, compatibility criteria, compatibility of philosophers, courage, effort in marriage, falling in love, fear, female friendship, Films, friendship, fulfillment, God & marriage, great wives, happily-married wives, human status, imprudent confidences, intimacy, life capital, loss of friendship, loss of rank, loss of status, marital adventures, marital prestige, Marriage, marriage and status, marriage as destined, mystery, mystery of marriage, narrative, Nathaniel Hawthorne’s House of Seven Gables, necessary pains, necessary secrets, negative politics, ontological change, outranking, paranoia, philosophic friendship, philosophic papers, philosophic prestige, politics of marriage, positive power, rabbinic view of marriage, realistic fear, risks in marriage, romantic eligibility, Salem witch trials, secret of marriage, self-integration, single womanhood, social prestige, social status, spinsters, status of women in Muslim world, suppressed possibilities, talking it out, Texas panhandle, the feminine condition, threatening candor, unearned status, unmarried women, Upper East Side, virgins, wedding rings, white nights, women friends, Yoga centers | 2 Comments