Tag Archives: romantic eligibility

Women Who Want To Kill Themselves

Posted on May 5, 2026 by amanda horgan

Some years ago, when I was still working full time as a philosophy professor, I got a late-afternoon call from E.S. He was a senior colleague and good friend. We’d exchanged just a few words when he remarked, with concern, … Continue reading →

Posted in Absolute Freedom and Terror, absurdism, academe, action, afterlife, agnosticism, alienation, American politics, anthropology, anti-semitism, appreciation, art, art of living, atheism, authenticity, autonomy, bad faith, beauty, Bible, Biblical Archeology, Biblical God, bigotry, book reviews, books, bureaucracy, childhood, chivalry, Christianity, cities, class, Confessions of a Young Philosopher, conformism, contemplation, contradictions, cool, courage, courtship, cults, cultural politics, culture, desire, Desire and Authenticity, dialectic, erotic life, eternity, ethics, ethnicity, evil, existentialism, exploitation, faith, fashion, fatherhood, female power, femininity, feminism, filial piety, films, freedom, friendship, gender balance, glitterati, Gnosticism, guilt and innocence, health, Hegel, hegemony, heroes, hidden God, hierarchy, history, history of ideas, id, idealism, ideality, identity, ideology, idolatry, immorality, immortality, institutional power, Jesus, Jews, journalism, Judaism, law, legal responsibility, life and death struggle, literature, love, male power, Married Philosophers Discuss Confessions, martyrdom, masculinity, master, master/slave relation, medieval, memoir, memory, Messianic Age, mind control, modern women, modernism, moral action, moral evaluation, moral psychology, morality, mortality, motherhood, mysticism, Nihilism, nineteenth-century, non-violence, novels, ontology, oppression, pacifism, past and future, peace, Phenomenology of the Mind, philosophy, poetry, political, political movements, politics, politics of ideas, postmodernism, power, power games, presence, promissory notes, propaganda, psychology, public facade, public intellectual, race, racism, radicalism, reading, reductionism, relationships, religion, remembrance, repairing the culture, roles, romance, romantic love, romanticism, science, scientism, secular, seduction, self-deception, sex appeal, sexuality, slave, social climbing, social construction, social conventions, social ranking, sociobiology, spiritual journey, spiritual not religious, spirituality, status, status of women, suffering, Suicide, terror, terrorism, the examined life, the problematic of men, the problematic of woman, the profane, the sacred, theism, theology, time, Truth, TV, twentieth century, twenty-first century, Utopia, victimhood, victims, violence, war, work, writing, Zeitgeist | Tagged a daughter’s suicide, academic colleagues, academic friends, arguing a friend out of suicide, career setback, classic suicidal motivation, collegial friends, dishonor and Iberian culture, dishonor and suicide, feminist objections to “honor”, honor and modernity, honor as premodern concept, honor for men vs honor for women, impressing a romantic partner, loss of honor, loss of honor for men vs loss of honor for women, lost honor and suicide, official feminism and women’s reality, payback for the seducer, philosophical defense of “honor”, philosophical friends, philosophical objections to “honor”, philosophy professor, planning suicide, professional defeat, professional setback, psychological objections to “honor”, reasons for suicide, reasons women kill themselves, responding to a friend in crisis, restoring honor, romance and status, romantic eligibility, romantic setback, saving a friend at the cost of losing her, seducer, seducer as pretended supporter, seducer in self-help group, seduction and abuse of power, seduction and wanting to die, setbacks in work and romance, suicidal woman, suicide, suicide aftermath, suicide and counterargument, suicide and losing face, suicide and loss of honor, suicide and professional setback, suicide and tarnished image, suicide threat, taking advantage of a woman, taking advantage of vulnerability, taking threats seriously, talking a friend out of suicide, vulnerability and the seducer, witnessing a friend’s defeat, worthiness for romance | Leave a comment

In Quest of Lost Friendship

Posted on July 15, 2025 by Abigail

The other night I had a dream in which I met a woman whom I used to regard as a friend. But she’d become an ex-friend – in the following fashion. An ill-wisher who’d known me from my earliest days … Continue reading →

Posted in absurdism, academe, action, afterlife, agnosticism, alienation, appreciation, art of living, authenticity, autonomy, bad faith, Biblical God, bigotry, bureaucracy, chivalry, cities, class, conformism, contemplation, contradictions, cool, courage, courtship, cults, cultural politics, culture, desire, dialectic, erotic life, ethnicity, evil, existentialism, exploitation, faith, fashion, fatherhood, female power, femininity, feminism, filial piety, films, freedom, friendship, gender balance, glitterati, Gnosticism, guilt and innocence, health, Hegel, hegemony, heroes, hidden God, hierarchy, history, history of ideas, id, idealism, ideality, identity, ideology, idolatry, immorality, institutional power, law, legal responsibility, life and death struggle, literature, love, male power, martyrdom, masculinity, master, master/slave relation, memoir, memory, Messianic Age, mind control, modern women, modernism, moral action, moral evaluation, moral psychology, morality, mortality, mysticism, Nihilism, non-violence, novels, ontology, oppression, pacifism, past and future, peace, Phenomenology of the Mind, philosophy, political, political movements, politics, politics of ideas, postmodernism, power, power games, presence, promissory notes, propaganda, psychology, public facade, public intellectual, reading, reductionism, relationships, religion, remembrance, repairing the culture, roles, romance, romantic love, romanticism, scientism, secular, seduction, self-deception, sex appeal, sexuality, slave, social climbing, social construction, social conventions, social ranking, sociobiology, spiritual journey, spiritual not religious, spirituality, status, status of women, suffering, terror, terrorism, the examined life, the problematic of men, the problematic of woman, the profane, the sacred, theism, theology, time, Truth, twentieth century, twenty-first century, Utopia, victimhood, victims, violence, war, work, writing, Zeitgeist | Tagged academic friendships, academic politics, ad hominem attacks, afterlife reunion, afterlife visitation, ambiguity as disguise, believing a damaging lie, broken friendship repaired, candid truthfulness, collegial friends, collegial sense of trust, conversations with a deceased friend, correcting slander, credulous colleagues, credulous family friends, damaging accusations, damaging allegations, damaging gossip, damaging rumors, destroying a reputation, distinctiveness of philosophy, dream reunion, effective defamation, effective slander, evasion of truth, ex-friends, facing the big questions, false accusations, false and damaging accusations, former friends, friends and colleagues, ill-wisher, inauthenticity, intellectual trust, inversions of trust, inversions of truth, legal harm, life pretense vs undisguised afterlife, loss of trust, lost friendship, love of wisdom, meaningful dreams, naïveté as a disguise, narcissism, personal honor, personal honor misrepresented, personality disorders, philosophic friendship, philosophy profaned, politics of experience, pretended ambivalence, pretended appreciation, pretended childishness, pretended confusion, pretended harmlessness, pretended naïveté, pretended non-judgmentalism, professional damage, professional harm, professional patron, professional power, professional protégé, professional protection, protected intellectual space, protecting philosophy, protecting the search for wisdom, Rashomon, repaired friendship, repairing friendship, repentance and forgiveness, restored sincerity, romantic eligibility, search for wisdom, setting the record straight, significant dreams, social demotion, social down-ranking, social terrorism, sowing distrust, spiteful rumors, spoiling friendship, the philosophic life, the philosophic quest, the Rashomon alibi, trust in colleagues, trust in professional life, truth unrecognized, truthfulness vs defamatory lies, trying to undo slander, undermining friendship, undisguised in the afterlife, visitation from the afterlife, wasted words, why philosophy is special, women friends, work friends | Leave a comment

How I Grew Up, Eventually

Posted on May 2, 2023 by Abigail

Abbie at 10 on Prince. I never wanted to grow up. In fact, one of my childhood heroes was Peter Pan, the boy who never grew up. For one thing, I thought grownups were ugly. They were too big, which … Continue reading →

Posted in absurdism, academe, action, afterlife, alienation, anthropology, art of living, atheism, autonomy, bad faith, beauty, Biblical God, book reviews, books, childhood, chivalry, cities, class, conformism, contemplation, contradictions, cool, courage, courtship, cults, cultural politics, culture, desire, dialectic, erotic life, eternity, ethics, evil, existentialism, exploitation, faith, fashion, female power, femininity, feminism, freedom, friendship, gender balance, glitterati, Gnosticism, guilt and innocence, health, hegemony, heroes, hidden God, hierarchy, history, history of ideas, id, Idealism-, ideality, identity, ideology, idolatry, immorality, immortality, institutional power, Jews, Judaism, law, legal responsibility, life and death struggle, literature, love, martyrdom, master/slave relation, memoir, memory, mind control, modern women, modernism, moral action, moral evaluation, moral psychology, morality, mortality, motherhood, non-violence, novels, ontology, oppression, past and future, peace, philosophy, political, politics of ideas, postmodernism, power, presence, promissory notes, propaganda, psychology, public facade, public intellectual, reading, reductionism, relationships, religion, roles, romance, romantic love, scientism, secular, seduction, self-deception, sex appeal, sexuality, social climbing, social construction, social conventions, social ranking, sociobiology, spiritual journey, spiritual not religious, spirituality, status, status of women, suffering, terror, the examined life, the problematic of men, the problematic of woman, the profane, the sacred, theism, theology, time, twentieth century, twenty-first century, Utopia, victimhood, victims, violence, war, work, writing, Zeitgeist | Tagged academic politics, act like a woman, acting as if the dead can’t see you, adjusting to womanhood, adolescence, adult friendships, adults and children, antisemitism in academe, artificial adulthood, at home in one’s skin, becoming oneself, behind the back of the dead, believing defamatory fictions, Cain and Abel, cat’s away mice will play, childhood freedom, childhood heroes, collegial friendships, congenial social circles, CUNY faculty, daughterly duties, defamatory fictions, don’t speak ill of the dead, Downeast Maine, fight for popularity, fight for the legacy, filial piety, fitting into one's skin, fragile integrity, fratricide, go along to get along, growing pains, growing up, growing up and liking it, growing up and not liking it, grownup orphan, grownups, hard to fool, Henry M Rosenthal’s The Consolations of Philosophy: Hobbes's Secret; Spinoza’s Way, house in Maine, how children see adults, how not to greet a child, human nature and philosophy, identity development, ingratitude, inherited friendships, interesting parents, learned womanliness, losing friends, Maine locals, memorial service, midlife redefinition, novelistic, out of the mouths of babes, parental friends, personality redefinition, Peter Pan, philosophy as home, philosophy as natural, posthumous rivalries, put your money where your mouth is, Rav Tsair, real life is stranger than fiction, redefining self, remaining oneself, repositioning in adulthood, restoring oneself, romantic eligibility, saying what you see, showing true colors, sincerity of children, slander is always believed, small town realism, social standing, staying healthy in a fight, teenage dating, teenagers, the dead can see us, troubles of adolescence, unseen by the dead, unsupported groundless allegations, wallflowers, who am I?, world of one’s parents | Leave a comment

“Marriage”

Posted on June 14, 2016 by Abigail

“Marriage” Marriage has always seemed to me a great mystery. Clearly it has a political aspect. To most people, this is at least somewhat apparent. In an earlier American era, the negative politics of single womanhood was quite obvious. Take … Continue reading →

Posted in academe, action, alienation, anthropology, art, art of living, autonomy, Biblical God, chivalry, class, contemplation, contradictions, cool, courage, courtship, culture, desire, dialectic, erotic life, eternity, ethics, evil, faith, fashion, femininity, feminism, films, freedom, friendship, gender balance, guilt and innocence, health, Hegel, hierarchy, history, history of ideas, identity, ideology, idolatry, institutional power, Jews, legal responsibility, life and death struggle, literature, love, male power, masculinity, master, memoir, nineteenth-century, ontology, peace, Phenomenology of the Mind, philosophy, poetry, political, political movements, power, psychology, relationships, roles, romance, romantic love, seduction, sex appeal, sexuality, slave, social conventions, social ranking, sociobiology, spirituality, status, status of women, suffering, the examined life, the problematic of men, the problematic of woman, theism, time, twentieth century, twenty-first century, writing, Zeitgeist | Tagged a positive mystery, actualized potential, aging virgins, Authenticity, “It’s a Wonderful Life, ” Jimmy Stewart the actor, bashert, biochemical criteria for romance, brides-to-be, busted, change in being, Christmas movies, compatibility criteria, compatibility of philosophers, courage, effort in marriage, falling in love, fear, female friendship, Films, friendship, fulfillment, God & marriage, great wives, happily-married wives, human status, imprudent confidences, intimacy, life capital, loss of friendship, loss of rank, loss of status, marital adventures, marital prestige, Marriage, marriage and status, marriage as destined, mystery, mystery of marriage, narrative, Nathaniel Hawthorne’s House of Seven Gables, necessary pains, necessary secrets, negative politics, ontological change, outranking, paranoia, philosophic friendship, philosophic papers, philosophic prestige, politics of marriage, positive power, rabbinic view of marriage, realistic fear, risks in marriage, romantic eligibility, Salem witch trials, secret of marriage, self-integration, single womanhood, social prestige, social status, spinsters, status of women in Muslim world, suppressed possibilities, talking it out, Texas panhandle, the feminine condition, threatening candor, unearned status, unmarried women, Upper East Side, virgins, wedding rings, white nights, women friends, Yoga centers | 2 Comments

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