Dear Abbie: The Non-Advice Column
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"I would like to open this site for conversation with women of all ages, convictions and styles of life – wherever situated on the gamut of experience. In principle, there is no bar to men joining in, since how one defines women has a lot to do with what it means to be a man. But it is women I invite to pull up a chair at this virtual café table and put their questions and views into the conversation. I can be wrong as often as right, so specific advice will be avoided. What will be sought is light on how best to frame the situation of women, considered as a highly interesting problematic. What kind of hand have we been dealt, as women, and how can we best play it?
Comments are warmly encouraged on any post at any point."
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Tag Archives: self-esteem
Loving Thyself
Sometimes the chief happenings of one’s life occur in the form of inward shifts. That’s been true of me lately. Late Saturday night, we returned from five days of neuropathy treatments in California. In the evenings, we dined with some … Continue reading →
Posted in "Absolute Freedom and Terror", Absurdism, Academe, Action, Afterlife, Alienation, American Politics, Anthropology, Art, Art of Living, Atheism, Autonomy, bad faith, beauty, Biblical God, bigotry, books, Chivalry, Christianity, Cities, Class, conformism, Contemplation, Contradictions, Cool, Courage, Courtship, Cultural Politics, Culture, Desire, dialectic, Erotic Life, Eternity, Ethics, Evil, Existentialism, exploitation, Faith, Fashion, Female Power, Femininity, Feminism, Freedom, Friendship, Gender Balance, Gnosticism, Guilt and Innocence, Health, hegemony, Heroes, hidden God, hierarchy, History, history of ideas, idealism, Ideality, Identity, Ideology, Immorality, Institutional Power, Jews, Judaism, Legal Responsibility, life and death struggle, Literature, Love, Male Power, Martyrdom, Masculinity, master, master/slave relation, Memoir, memory, Mind Control, Modern Women, Modernism, Moral action, Moral evaluation, Moral psychology, morality, non-violence, novels, Ontology, Oppression, pacifism, Past and Future, Peace, Philosophy, Political, Political Movements, politics of ideas, post modernism, Power, presence, promissory notes, Propaganda, Psychology, public facade, Public Intellectual, Race, radicalism, Reading, Reductionism, relationships, Religion, Roles, Romance, Romantic Love, secular, Seduction, self-deception, Sex Appeal, Sexuality, slave, social climbing, social construction, Social Conventions, social ranking, Sociobiology, spiritual journey, spiritual not religious, Spirituality, status, status of women, Suffering, Terror, The Examined Life, The Problematic of Men, The Problematic of Woman, the profane, the sacred, Theism, Theology, Time, twentieth century, twenty-first century, Utopia, victimhood, victims, Violence, War, Work, Writing, Zeitgeist
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Tagged achieving social harmony, allegedly free, anti-Jewish vulgarity, award for participating, bruised self-worth, can't lose setup, challenge to integrity, Chillul hashem, choice in boyfriends, class and classlessness, countering social bigotry, defending coreligionists, defending fellow victims, demeaning epithets, demeaning language, desecrating the Name, dialectical exploration, dialectically serious, dilemmas of politeness, escapism, feeling of self-worth, fight for one's footing, fight for one's place in the world, getting it right in retrospect, giving up prematurely, handling social combat, historical Jesus, holding one's own, holding one's own socially, inner life, insincere capitulation, insincere harmony, inward change, Jerry Martin's God: An Autobiography as told to a philosopher, Jesus of Nazareth, Jesus the man, Jesus's love, Jesus's unfiltered love, Jewish self-protection, l'esprit de l'escalier, Loma Linda clinic, losing the argument but winning the truth, love they neighbor as thyself, loving one's self, loving thyself, loving truth, loving unreservedly, Mark Bussell, meaning what you say, neuropathy treatment, New Orleans, no win situation, painful memories, premature peacemaking, replaying memories, replaying social blunders, rigged competition, risks for truth, rodeo events, saying what you mean, search for truth, self deprecation as defensive, self insult as defense, self love, self love as an hypothesis, self love in social life, self-approval, self-esteem, sincerity vs pretense, smoothing things over, social double binds, social expertise, social ineptitude, social life as war, social missteps, social putdowns, social skills, spoiling the party, styles of being Jewish, tension of disagreement, the embarrassing boyfriend, the humanity of Jesus, truth inadequately defended, truth seeking argument, unqualified love, what I should have said
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The Man/Woman Thing
The Man/Woman Thing We were having dinner at the Mission Inn, which is one of the attractions of Riverside, the town in California where we stayed during the week of my neuropathy treatments. The Mission Inn is an architectural and … Continue reading →
Posted in "Absolute Freedom and Terror", Absurdism, Action, Alienation, Anthropology, Art, Art of Living, Atheism, Autonomy, bad faith, beauty, Bible, Biblical God, Chivalry, Christianity, Cities, Class, conformism, Contemplation, Contradictions, Cool, Courage, Courtship, Cultural Politics, Culture, Desire, dialectic, Erotic Life, Eternity, Ethics, Evil, Existentialism, exploitation, Faith, Fashion, Female Power, Femininity, Feminism, Films, Freedom, Friendship, Gender Balance, glitterati, Gnosticism, Guilt and Innocence, Health, hegemony, Heroes, hidden God, hierarchy, history of ideas, ID, Idealism, Ideality, Identity, Ideology, Institutional Power, Judaism, life and death struggle, Literature, Love, Male Power, Masculinity, master/slave relation, memory, Mind Control, Modern Women, Modernism, Moral action, Moral evaluation, Moral psychology, morality, Ontology, Oppression, Past and Future, Political Movements, politics of ideas, post modernism, Power, presence, promissory notes, Propaganda, Psychology, public facade, Race, Reductionism, relationships, Religion, Roles, Romantic Love, Seduction, self-deception, Sex Appeal, Sexuality, social construction, Social Conventions, social ranking, Sociobiology, spiritual journey, spiritual not religious, Spirituality, status, status of women, Suffering, The Examined Life, The Problematic of Men, The Problematic of Woman, the profane, the sacred, Theism, Theology, twentieth century, twenty-first century, Utopia, victimhood, victims, Work, Writing, Zeitgeist
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Tagged a good man, accepting poor treatment, American aesthetic, American architecture, American landmarks, bashert, bashert marriages, being stood up, co-creative relationships, common courtesy, creativity in difference, debasing men, eligible man, excuses men make, exploiting vulnerabilities, expulsion from Eden, female powerlessness, healthy relationship, holding oneself in high regard, honor in relationships, honoring men, humiliating women, ideal relationships, idealizing men, idealizing women, Judah ha Nasi, King James Bible, lose-lose v win-win, male/female polarity, man/woman asymmetries, man/woman discourtesy, mutual protectiveness, neuropathy treatments, non-advice, non-ideal relationships, original sin, phony excuses, profaning relationships, public humiliation, rabbinic midrash, Riverside California, romantic destiny, seductive line, self-esteem, selling the Brooklyn Bridge, settling for less, social constructs, taste in architecture, the curse on Adam, the curse on Eve, the price you put on yourself, the way God sees us, toxic relationship, unfair advantage, yin and yang, zero sum game
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